Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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