Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
