It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
