I'm drive I can fine osifer
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
