omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
