My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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