hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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