i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
