If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
