made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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