so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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