Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
