her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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