vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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