im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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