Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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