how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There r osticjed everywhere
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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