how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
