Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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