I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
