sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
