Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
