I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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