Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just cut my nipple shaving
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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