im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
