How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
