i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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