Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
