im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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