If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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