So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize