We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
