i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
