Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
