so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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