bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
