please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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