Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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