i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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