question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
