She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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