The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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