This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
