He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
now i know why i became what i already was.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
