i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
