Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
