Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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