Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
