yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
