i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
