after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
