its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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