Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
