they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
