I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
