Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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