My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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