YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
